Relationship Skill Training

Nonviolent communication was founded by Marshall Rosenberg, (nonviolentcommunication.com), who describes nonviolent communication as –

Compassionate Nonviolent Communication involves both communication skills that foster safety, needs focus and needs mattering and understanding of feelings and needs in resolving conflict. Compassionate relating is power with rather than a power over model to work together to meet the needs of all concerned. and consciousness of the interdependence of our well being and using power with others vs. power over others

This approach to communication emphasizes compassion and natural giving as the motivation for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification for punishment. In other words, it is about getting what you want for reasons you will not regret later. NVC is NOT about getting people to do what we want. It is about creating a quality of connection that gets everyone’s needs met through compassionate giving.

~

Compassionate Dialogue Basic Skills

~

1. Observations not  Interpretations, Assumptions, Evaluations,

2. Feelings, not Thoughts, Opinions, and Judgments

3. Needs not Strategies,

4. Requests not Demands.

Imago and Soul Contract Relationship Training

We also teach you how to resolve conflict by better understanding your childhood wounds and how they impact your relationship.   Today have easy to learn concrete skills, you can use right away to transform conflict into intimacy and distance into connection for your relationship. With our Returning to Love, Imago Relationship Skill Training, (IRT) you can learn how to understand the purpose of your your Imago (unconscious childhood agenda.) Clients are amazed when they do the process.

After discovering the prime directives, you can use them to correct your perceptions, beliefs and behavior to heal and to help you return to your original wholeness. Couples often report they experience a more quality, meaningful relationship after the training.

I have worked with several hundred clients now (both individuals and couples) whom have successfully completed our program and have maintained a lasting quality relationship because of the skills they learned. (See Testimonies)

When looking at the characteristics of your partner, you may noticed that you probably picked someone who has the best and worse traits of you parents. You also noticed that you experience the same disappointments, frustrations with your partner that you had growing up in your childhood home. You may have also been frustrated, disappointed or even traumatized in a past relationship and in an attempt to avoid it attracted the same. I call this pattern of repetition a “Soul Contract.”

In our Returning to Love Relationship Training, we believe “Nothing comes to experience uninvited” – there are no accidents – the unconscious part of you (your Imago) a composite of all your childhood wounds is determined to heal them and sets up a soul contract to do so.

Your imago does this by searching out just the right person to replicate your childhood wounds in hope of repairing them. It does this by releasing strong endorphins to help you choose a life partner to fulfill your soul contract.

This person, whom you first meet will activate all your feel good hormones to become intensely attracted to them during the romantic phase of your relationship.  After the drugs wear off your may think they are someone you would never be attracted  to normally which is why your  Imago has to create an endorphin high to dispel any doubts or disbelief.

After the romance wears off couples realize they are with someone who perfectly embodies all the things they hate and thus the second phase or  “the power struggle” begins. They don’t realize the person embodies their shadow parts and can be a resource for healing to finally end their soul contract.

The goal of IRT is to help you consciously understand and work with your Imago to learn how to act differently when your childhood wounds are triggered and replicated.

Unfortunately, without skills and awareness of our Imago’s unconscious agenda, we, more often than not, reinforce our adaptions and replicate our wounds rather than heal and repair them. We continually repeat our patterns attracting the people, places, and things, we need to heal, until we learn the skills to heal ourselves and move on to an up-graded vision of ourselves and others and relationship challenge.

I had a client who told me he was embarrassed to go on a date because the topic usually came up, “how many times have you been married.” He was afraid he would be judged for being married five times.

This client had a lot of regrets tor his past mistakes. After empathizing with his to help him with the grieving process. I mentioned to him that the best way to deal with regrets is to learn from them. I also said to him the important thing is not how many times you have been married but what you learned in each relationship.

My client looked down and said “I don’t think I learned anything. They were all the same.”  Later, he told me he married and divorced five angry, critical women, who couldn’t appreciate anything he did for them.

In the course of our meetings, he realize he had unfinished business with his critical rejecting Mother and was able to heal his soul contract and upgrade his Imago.

Your Partner May Not Be Perfect but he/she is Perfect for You

John Gray Author

Men are From Mars Women are From Venus

According to the latest relationship research, most relationships and marriages fail, not because of making a mistake in their choice of partners, but because of mistakes in their understanding of their soul contracts and their communication patterns.

Habits of defending through raging, complaining, criticizing or collapsing, and stonewalling keep relationships in stuck downward spiraling patterns.

Power struggles unfortunately, become deadlocked in “no win,” stuck patterns. These stuck patterns are maintained by the unconscious habitual way of communicating and reacting to each other.

In our Returning to Love program, we teach individuals and couples advanced communication skills to resolve and upgrade their awareness and responsive communication to avoid these stuck patterns.