Imago Relationship Training – Healing Soul Contracts

Relationships Can Be Confusion Unless You Understand Your Imago and Soul Contracts

For most of us, happiness in relationships is a hit or miss, trial and error, confusing enterprise. We have training for every profession to achieve excellence but when it comes to relationships, it seems, we’re simply suppose to know what to do.

I had a client once, who married five different alcoholic men. She obviously had a soul contract with alcoholic men in that she was unknowingly trying to repair the relationship she had with her alcoholic Father. She was in a repetitive childhood pattern seeking to win her Father’s love and approval by fixing him.

Of course, she failed in childhood and failed as an adult. Later in life, she was continually was attracted to alcoholic men who, of course, resisted her attempts to fix them and even drank more. She experienced repeated disappointment and despair, fortunately after seeing me, she woke up to the fact she needed to fix herself and not someone else.

Many of us are doomed in this repetitive patterns of exaggerated responsibility and various forms of co-dependency, trying to fix and care take instead of care for another person.

It all stems from childhood. How can a child ever hope to really fix a dysfunctional parent. It’s such a set up. But happens repeatedly. I remember coming downstairs at age six, in the morning, and seeing my Mother and her friends all passed out from drinking all night. I think I

realized at that moment there were no adults, I also decided I would have to be the adult in our family and not only would I have to fend for myself but also try to fix my Mom.

Children try to fix their parents in various ways but the most common is not to burden them with their own needs. Don’t feel it will upset them, Don’t need anything, it will upset them. Don’t act on your own, it will upset them. Don’t think on your own, it will upset them. And if you do have feelings and needs certainly Don’t Asked because it will really upset them.

The child rightly assumes the parent can’t take care of themselves, how can he/she take care of me. The client, I mentioned above, desiring to fix her alcoholic Father, was doomed in her relationships just like she was doomed in her childhood repeatedly hoping and trying to fix her Father. She could never stop him from drinking and hurting himself and the family no matter how much she gave up in herself. Later in life she carried this adaption out in her relationships. She never understood the driving force of her Imago, much less how to heal her Imago until she came to me completely in despair and hopelessness.

What is Imago?

The word Imago (E-Ma-Go) is a Greek word meaning composite image or unconscious image of familiar love. Imago is also conceptualized as the womb of spiritual rebirth and the unconscious storehouse of our collective memories especially traumatic ones. These stored memories constitute both our good and bad experiences. We are directed to see, think, feel, and act through our imago composite images as they are imprinted into our unconscious mind.

If we were repeatedly criticized in childhood by one or both parents, we hold this trauma of these events in our Imago and we are extremely sensitive to being criticized as adults. The Imago drives us to not only be attracted to critical people but sets out to find a critical person who has the potential to love and appreciate us to help us heal our childhood wound.

My Father called me” stupid” for most of my life. I never realized he was projecting as he only had a third grade education. I got two doctorates to please him to no avail. When my children were growing up, their favorite word was “stupid” I said “You will not use that word in my house.” They replied “That’s Stupid” I was working for the courts at the time in child abuse so I knew not to hit my children but it wasn’t till I got therapy for this that I could resolve this wound with my Father and consequently my children stopped saying the word stupid.

When we get wounded, we give up or loose parts of ourselves and we adapt. It’s the Imago’s job to return us to wholeness. Our Imago’s unconscious agenda is to find someone opposite in their adaptations to help us restore balance in our life. (See Adaptations below)

If we were wounded with rejection and/or criticism, a regular, normal, healthy, loving appreciating individual won’t do. It must be a critical person who has the potential to become a loving, nurturing, and appreciating partner that will do the trick.

I often hear client’s say “how do I keep ending up with _________. The simple answer is “It’s your Imago seeking to heal childhood wounds.” The Imago (unconscious Imprint) has a desire to heal childhood trauma and balance out how you had to adapt to survive in childhood. It’s the Imago’s job to create an irresistible attraction to someone equally wounded, equally intelligent and opposite adapted to give you the best chance of restoring your original wholeness. It also seek a person who is open to the prospect of becoming a healing partner.

The term or idea of Imago and Imago Relationship Therapy was originated by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen Hunt, in the late 70s. I was fortunate to train with them and was amazed at the simplicity and power of his principles and techniques.

Both Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt have been through previous divorces and they recognized the impact of their childhood on their present relationship. They developed Imago Relationship Therapy because they believe the purpose of relationships is the healing of childhood wounds. They also see relationships as a spiritual path and believe individuals and couples can learn to become conscious and intentional co-workers in their healing process.

In our Returning To Love Training Program, we use many of the Imago Relationship Therapy ((IRT) Principles and Techniques. The first step in our program is to create a place of safety and learn to understand and work with the agenda of the Imago rather than against it.

Imago and Soul Contract Relationship Training

Today we have easy to learn concrete skills, you can use right away to transform conflict into
intimacy and distance into connection for your relationship. With our Returning to Love, Imago
Relationship Skill Training, (IRT) you can learn how to understand the purpose of your your
Imago (unconscious childhood agenda.) Clients are amazed when they do the process.

After discovering the prime directives, you can use them to correct your perceptions, beliefs and behavior to heal and to help you return to your original wholeness. Couples often report they experience a more quality, meaningful relationship after the training.

I have worked with several hundred clients now (both individuals and couples) whom have successfully completed our program and have maintained a lasting quality relationship because of the skills they learned. (See Testimonies)

When looking at the characteristics of your partner, you may noticed that you probably picked someone who has the best and worse traits of you parents. You also noticed that you experience the same disappointments, frustrations with your partner that you had growing up in your

childhood home. You may have also been frustrated, disappointed or even traumatized in a past relationship and in an attempt to avoid it attracted the same. I call this pattern of repetition a “Soul Contract.”

In our Returning to Love Relationship Training, we teach you about your Imago. We believe “Nothing comes to experience
uninvited” – there are no accidents – the unconscious part of you (your Imago) is like a servo mechanism attracting certain people places and things into your life. Your Imago is a composite of all
your childhood experiences and wounds. You were born in original wholeness and in balance but you were wounded and became out of balance at a certain age. You Imago is determined to heal you and return you to balance by setting up the perfect conditions ( soul contract ) to repeat your childhood wounding with the opportunity to heal you and return you to balance with an upgraded experience from being healed.

Your imago does this by searching out just the right person to replicate your childhood wounds in hope of repairing them. It does this by releasing strong endorphins to help you choose a life partner to fulfill your soul contract.

This someone, whom you become intensely attracted to during the romantic phase, is someone you would never attach to normally. So the Imago has to create an endorphin high to dispel any doubts or disbeliefs. After the romance wears off couples realize they are with someone who perfectly embodies all the things they hate and thus the second phase of the power struggle begins. They don’t realize the person embodies their shadow parts and can be a resource for healing to finally end the soul contract.

The goal of IRT is to help you consciously understand and work with your Imago to learn how to act differently when your childhood wounds are triggered and replicated.

Unfortunately, without skills and awareness of our Imago’s unconscious agenda, we, more often than not, reinforce our adaptions and replicate our wounds rather than heal and repair them. We continually repeat our patterns attracting the people, places, and things, we need to heal, until we learn the skills to heal ourselves and move on to an up-graded vision of ourselves and others and relationship challenge.

I had a client who told me he was embarrassed to go on a date because the topic usually came up, “how many times have you been married.” He was afraid he would be judged for being married five times.

This client had a lot of regrets tor his past mistakes. After empathizing with his to help him with the grieving process. I mentioned to him that the best way to deal with regrets is to learn from them. I also said to him the important thing is not how many times you have been married but what you learned in each relationship. He sighed and said “I don’t think I learned anything. They were all the same.” Later, he told me he married and divorced five angry, critical women who couldn’t appreciate anything he did for them. We set out to help him realize he had unfinished business with his critical rejecting Mother.

Your Partner May Not Be Perfect but he/she is Perfect for You John Gray Author Men are From Mars Women are From Venus

According to the latest relationship research, most relationships and marriages fail, not because of making a mistake in their choice of partners, but because of mistakes in their understanding of their soul contracts and their communication patterns. Habits of defending through raging, complaining, criticizing or collapsing, and stonewalling keep relationships in stuck downward spiraling patterns.

Power struggles unfortunately, become deadlocked in “no win,” stuck patterns. These stuck patterns are maintained by the unconscious habitual way of communicating and reacting to each other. In our program, we teach individuals and couples advanced communication skills to avoid these stuck patterns.

The Gottman Research

The Gottman Relationship Research discovered when couples engaged in a 5 to 1 negative statements to nurturing statements, they were doomed to end in divorce or experience significant health issues. (we incorporate the Gottman Research in our program)

Without insight or awareness and the skills to know how to work with our Imago, individuals and couples end of in repeated heart break, disappointment and disillusionment confused on how they keep getting into the same situation with a partner. They inevitably end in a power struggle with their partners and don’t have the skills to know how to change their direction and reactive patterns.

When power struggles occur, couples often create enemy images of each other and increase the the tension. Power struggles combined with enemy images, in evidently, become self-fulfilling prophecies and lock each other into “no win” increasingly toxic labels and gestures. . How you see yourself and your partner will determine the resulting relationship you have.

When we don’t know how to listen to or express feelings and and needs we suffer getting into power struggles. When we don’t understand how to translate feelings into needs we stay in overwhelming despair and either shut down or blow up or a combination of both. Our defensive patterns only increase distance and disconnection with the need for walls instead of understanding healing bridges.

In our Returning to Love Program, (IRT) we invite Individuals and Couples, Parents and Children to learn skills to better understand themselves and each other and how to navigate conflict to promote healing and insight. We have specific processes to deal with regrets, disappointments and frustrations and learn how to have greater understanding, peace and harmony. We believe that all conflict can actually be a doorway to greater intimacy.

We teach concrete skills how to use your feelings and needs as resources rather than triggers to become reactive. We show you how to have “power with” rather than “power over” relationships. We teach you how to go beyond black and white thinking all or nothing demands to becoming both with the highest good thinking being all inclusive, where everyone’s needs matter.

In As Few as Six Sessions, You Can Learn The Lessons of You Imago and Begin Fulfilling Your Soul Contract

The Imago and Soul Contract Process

To help us heal, our Imago holds childhood wounds in pockets of our unconscious, until we gain enough well-being, maturity and hopefully insight and skill to deal with them. In adulthood, our Imago acts as a servo-mechanism and magnet to attract just the right people to subconsciously determined places and situations in order to help us re-experience and resolve our childhood wounds.

The concept of Imago has lead to the development of a series of principles and skills that have become known as Imago Relationship Training. Imago is like a servo mechanism seeking out to help us adjust from our wounds by recreating painful experiences in an attempt to heal and understand ourselves better.

Someone not allowed to have feelings growing up will choose a partner who is overly emotional etc. The unconscious part of us picks someone who has an exaggerate amount of the characteristics of what we have repressed in our childhood. The Imago holds both positive and negative characteristics of our child hood care givers in hope to help us lean to adapt differently and heal our negative experiences.

If we learn to work with our imago and use tools to help in the healing process, we free ourselves to grow and return to our natural state of wholeness.

For most of us, we learn how to be in relationships from the relationships we had with our parents. Even when we think we are choosing the opposite, we end up feeling the same way we did in childhood.

Relationship in the past were more about survival than emotional intimacy and enrichment. Today we need more than survival tactics and good intentions. Many have sworn that they would never be like their parents much less marry someone like their parents but in truth we all pick, promote or provoke are partners into acting out the same experiences we had with our parents.

I am What I Think, Having Become What My Parents Thought of Me. Zen saying

Adaptions: Turtles and Lightening Bolts

Imago, as stated earlier, is the composite image or unconscious storehouse that holds all our beliefs, habits, feelings, decisions from all our good and bad experiences, and reactions to stress. It’s our default way of handling triggers in our adult life.

Studies have shown that all of us learn adaptations to childhood pain, disappointment and trauma. In the Imago Relationship training adapted from Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt we work with individuals to help them understand and up-grade their adaptations.

If a child had overwhelming pain and hopelessness, he/she may adapt by eventually learning to shut down, minimize their energy, and withdraw to avoid pain and criticism to protect themselves growing up ie. become a turtle, they will likely tend to do the same in adult life. If someone survived by becoming overly animated and had to maximize their energy to protect themselves from the fear of abandonment, ie. Lightening Bolts, they will likely do so as an adult. According to Harville Hendrix the founder of Imago Relationship Therapy, Turtles will tend to seek out their opposite Lightening Bolts to balance themselves.

In other words, if child learned to compete for attention by being louder, stepping up, going after what they want and maximizing their emotions they would tend to seek their opposite, a quieter, subdued energy such as a turtle personality to balance out their energy and hopefully heal and return themselves to wholeness.

According to Imago theory, the first seven years of life form the groundwork of our world view. After the first seven years, then we layer our Imago each year thereafter reinforcing or adding to our core positive and negative beliefs and experiences. We develop beliefs about everything. Men, Women, Relationships, Money, Trust, Love, Success, Happiness, etc.We go into the world with these beliefs as prime directives. What a men, women about. What are Relationships about. What are feelings and needs about etc. these beliefs based on our childhood experiences become our unconscious imago.

It is within this unconscious storehouse that all our positive and negative experiences, self- limiting beliefs, images, feelings and decisions from childhood are kept, covered up in our protective strategies, until we become mature enough or suffered enough to recognize, grieve, release and hopefully correct them.

For better or worse, we primarily identify ourselves through these layers of unconscious Imago. It includes all our experiences and decisions and learned habits. It is the sum total of who we think we are and what life is.

Since attachment is the greatest need in childhood which translate to belonging, the child will do anything to stay attached. In the first seven years of childhood, if we grow up in a dysfunctional

family, we learn to give up parts of ourselves to belong and stay connected to our parents. This is especially true if the parents are self absorbed and unable to respond empathically.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, we quickly see our own feelings and needs as unacceptable and and even dangerous to the survival of our need to belong so we give them up. When feelings and needs are not tolerated, accepted or even punished (“Stop Crying or I’ll Give you Something to Cry About.” Or “Because you asked You Don’t Get It.” we adapted to a false self. ie. Someone who doesn’t need anything, or someone you is disconnected from feelings

We give up our independence to become “pleasers.” We give up our sensitivity to ourselves to become “rebels.” We give up our emotions to become intellectuals etc. We become ““maximizers” or “minimizers,” “rebels,” or “conformist,” “pursuers” or ” avoiders,” “connectors” or “distances,” “chasers” or “runners,” over thinkers,”or over “feelers,” “spenders” or “savers,” “super responsible” or “super irresponsible” etc. Of course when we deny a part of our self it becomes a shadow part and we attract it into our life. So the saying goes “Opposites Attract.”

Imago theory espouses that the universe needs balance and the best way for the universe or individuals to heal and find balance is to become attracted to and get with an opposite in order to heal and reintegrate their lost parts.

Until we stop projecting and take responsibility for our unresolved emotional issues, we are destine to repeat our past mistakes with each new relationship. The majority of individuals have childhood wounds and experiences of disappointments, abandonment shame unworthiness, as a result of unintended neglect, criticism or outright abuse. These disappointments become core decisions and defenses against being hurt again in intimate relationships and remain buried in our unconscious until brought to consciousness and resolved.

From childhood on, if you haven’t healed one heart break, you tend to repeat the heartbreak, over and over again. Your next “Hello” is only as good as your last “Goodbye” as the saying goes. Over fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce. In the follow up marriage sixty four percent of second marriages end in divorce and in the third marriage almost seventy five percent end in divorce.

The wounds of the past seem to become compounded unless we take charge of our healing process. Your next Hello is only as good as your last Goodbye particularly your goodbye to your childhood ties. For many present relationships are simply a repeat of childhood relationship and past relationships because skills and corrections have not been learned to resolve past issues.

In our Returning to Love Program, we offer you a process to fully say good bye to childhood beliefs and behaviors and say Hello to conscious and intentional intimacy enrichment relationships. You learn positive intimacy building skills that promote continual success instead of continual frustration and despair.

Imago At Work

When we feel an irresistible conscious and unconscious attraction to a person. There is also a strong chemical reaction in the brain secreting dopamine, serotonin, endorphins or the “feel good” hormones. The release of these hormones is our Imago locking-in and going to work to pick out our perfect Imago match for healing.

We seek just the right combination of positive and negative traits to bring our deepest wounds to the surface and hopefully heal them. As many already know, quite often, opposites attract one another. The bonding process provides us with an excellent opportunity to heal old wounds. One partner has an exaggerated amount of one characteristic the other partner has a limited amount so they create a perfect match to balance out the universe.

I recall a couple coming to me that truly appeared to be opposite. She was wearing a three piece professional suit while he was wearing shorts and a tank top. She was sitting up straight and leaning forward with a note-taking device and calendar in her hands he had nothing. He was a part-time tennis instructor who loved surfing and recreational sports. She was an accountant and worked over forty hours per week. He complained she was too serious and worked too much. She complained, at least I have a good paying job otherwise we’d be bankrupted.

In this example, each partner carried the shadow parts of the other person. The man embodied under-responsibility and exaggerate play, and freedom to relax and have fun, the woman embodied exaggerated responsibility, overly serious working habits and seriousness. She was totally uptight he was totally laid back. She was serious about everything he was not serious about anything.

The overly intellectual finds someone who is overly emotional. The compulsive spender finds the compulsive saver. The super responsible finds the super irresponsible. There are thousands of combinations.

In our IRT Program, we teach individuals and couples not to resent their partner’s opposite characteristics but learn to appreciate that they have rejected thousands of potential partners to find this one person who is a perfect imago match for healing them.

It is the Imago’s job to recreate childhood experiences in an effort to correct them. When we feel an irresistible attraction to a person, this is our Imago locking in and going to work. We seek just the right combination of positive and negative traits to bring our deepest wounds to the surface. This bonding process gives us the greatest opportunity for healing.

To help us heal, our Imago holds these wounds in pockets until we gain enough well-being, insight, and until we have the capacity to deal with them. These unconscious wounds of our past, stored in our unconscious, build up intensity and eventually surfaces as adults. These wounds replay themselves with the hope of healing.

We reject thousands of healthy people to find our perfect Imago match. Sadly, however, once we find an Imago mate, if we don’t have the conscious awareness skills of IRT, we aren’t able to fulfill and complete the healing process.

The Result, A Perfect Imago Match

Many people don’t understand the purpose of their Imago and often ask, “How does this keep happening to me?” ” I keep attracting the same type of person” Why do I keep having the same painful experiences?” They recognize a pattern, but they don’t know how to get beyond it. It is often the case that it isn’t until the relationship pattern has been repeated many times and the person becomes exhausted, totally broken, and totally discouraged that the person is willing to look within themselves.

As stated earlier, we reject thousands of healthy people to find our perfect Imago match (The one that is least able and lease capable of meeting our core human needs. The Imago, in order to correct the painful childhood experience, needs to find a person who can get us in touch with our core negative beliefs and is the one we have the best opportunity to grow with.

If we grew up in a home of “non-huggers,” we have a deep yearning within us to be hugged and feel the security of physical affection. However not just any arms will do. We need a non-hugger to hug us.

There are lots of healthy physically affectionate people out there but their hugs just don’t seem to be the healing factor. We must have a “non-hugger” to hug us so we can heal and complete our child hood soul contract. So we reject thousands of “huggers” to find that one “non-hugger” (who has the potential to hug us and has a opposite soul contract). Only a hug from a “non– hugger” will give us the healing we need.

When we meet an imago match, if we don’t have the skills to know what to do, we fail to complete our Imago healing process, we sadly repeat and reinforce our childhood wound and deepen the pattern of disappointment and loss.

Once we have found our Imago match we are thrilled at first but when the hormonal drugs wear off we then go into our childhood adaptive protective patterns to recreate the childhood wound. instead of freeing ourselves, we usually set ourselves and our partners up to become re-injured. This only reinforces our childhood wounds.

Couples separate and tell themselves, “I picked the wrong person.” Then they set out to do it all over again, and again and again creating the same pattern of behavior. (I know a woman who married five alcoholic men searching to repair her relationship with her alcoholic father.)

The Solution

The Returning to Love Skill Training with The Imago Relationship Training (IRT) Program has incorporated state of the art principles and skills into a comprehensive training program to help couples understand and work with the goals of their Imago rather than against them.

In our program, we teach couples to see their relationship as a spiritual path. We teach you how to see your partner not as the enemy but as a resource for healing. If your partner is willing to work with you, you both can become conscious co-healers for each other. If not it is your responsibility to learn the skills on your own and up-grade your consciousness to resolve your issues

We teach concrete skills and healing principles through private individual or couples counseling. We provide a system of education and spiritual healing that offers a systematic structure of learning how to better give and receive love.

IRT and Healing as part of the Returning to Love Skill Training Program will help you to work in cooperation with your conscious mind desiring happiness and you unconscious mind ( Imago) desiring healing and growth to work together to get resolution of your childhood wounds. Our

system is structured in a step by step process to provide you the education and support you need better understand yourself get the love you deserve or keep the love you find and have the relationships you desire.

When two individuals commit to working together in an effort to understand each others imago, or unconscious agenda, and really stretch to meet each other’s needs, they eventually realize the reasons (their Soul Contract) why they chose one another as a partners.

Understanding Our Imago and Soul Contracts Can Provide Enormous Insights Into Life’s Challenges.

In our Returning to Love Training we support couples to recognize and learn from their partners to reintegrate their lost and disowned shadow parts. As a result, many aspects of their lives transform.

In the course of skill training, couples often realize that their partners enable them to regain lost or denied parts. These realizations help to integrate – they allow a spiritual awakening.

For Singles

If you have repeated heart break, it’s especially important to become aware of your Imago and Soul Contracts. I learned a saying “Your Next Hello is Only as Good as Your Last Goodbye.” In other words, if we don’t learn from our own relationship history of disappointments, we are doomed to repeat them, especially if you have unresolved grievances and negative emotions attached to it.

You can save yourself a lot of time and energy if you learn skills to up-grade your relationship patterns and move on to the next level. Stuck Imago Soul Contracts only lead to exhaustion, suffering and repeated disappointment, helplessness and frustration. I have also found that unfulfilled Imago Soul Contracts often create limiting beliefs and behavior patterns that keep you stuck and spinning in a downward cycle.

These beliefs and stuck emotional energy patterns are sometimes lock in one’s DNA and may stem from past childhood experiences or ancestral, or even past lives imprints.These patterns often twisted and combined in stuck, fixed emotional clusters and repressed into the body physical energy system and actually make into an adapted self or ego confirming and ego gratifying identity pattern if not released.

I have had a small number of couples consciously separate and divorce after the training because they realized their work was done and their interests, values and passions were going in different directions.

These couples reported to me that they remain steadfast friends and said they believe they had a better relationship than their married friends. I also had a client report that initially she came to the program to learn how to fix her partner but by the end she fixed herself and up-graded her entire life. This is true also for singles without partners who participate in the program. Even if they are in a present dysfunctional relationship the partner transform or effortlessly drops away.

I have completed training in a number of Energy Spiritual Healing Techniques to free you from stuck energy patterns and can help you experience your full potential. When needed and with your permission, I use gentle non-invasive energy healing techniques including EFT, Matrix ReImprinting and NLP Timeline Therapy with mild hypnosis to help you discover and release your limiting beliefs and patterns as you are ready to complete and up-grade your happiness potential.

Blocked energy clearing combined with Imago and Soul Contracts Advanced Communication Training can finally help an individual and/or couples gain freedom to bring about real change and move into alignment with their true purpose and ultimate happiness. By resolving, releasing and/or up-grading your old Imago and Soul Contracts, you will discover how easy it is to re- align with your authentic self, begin the healing process and tap into your unique gifts to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

When your Imago and Soul Contracts remain festering on the walls of your unconscious and operate as a blinding, driving force in your life they can be extremely confusing.

It’s like the conscious part of you striving for happiness continually collides with the unconscious part of you that wanting to resolve old issues and keeps you stuck until you heal. It’s also like having one foot on the break trying to avoid the lessons and one foot on the gas petal striving to push forward to heal the original trauma and learn the lesson. When individuals and/or couples don’t understand their Imago and Soul Contracts, they remain stuck in continual reactive patterns of frustration, self-doubt, fear, anger and helplessness.

In our Returning to Love Program IRT, we teach individuals and couples how to work with and heal their Soul contracts to reach their ultimate joy and fulfillment. Soul contract clearing helps you to change limiting patterns and identify and release limiting beliefs. You learn to work with your unconscious self striving for healing and your conscious self desiring happiness.

Once you fulfill your Imago Soul Contract you experience a flood of relief and happiness. You realize how effortless it is to get the love you want and enjoy a secure, nurturing bond with yourself and the love you find. By learning how to clear and/or up-grade these limiting patterns and beliefs as part of your Imago Soul Contract, you can also create space for new empowering beliefs that support your aliveness, to have meaningful relationships based on fulfillment, growth and happiness.

Unfulfilled recurring Imago Soul Contracts often cause emotional and energetic stuck patterns that keep you as an individual or couple miserable. Couples describe it as having the same fight over and over again making it impossible to feel safe or experience the harmonizing free flow of energy in their life.

These blockages can manifest as physical, emotional, or mental imbalances,can cause havoc in your life and they can hinder your overall functioning, well-being and greater sense of fulfillment. Imago Soul Contract clearing can be enormously helpful to you not only to free emotional and energetic blockages but allow you to experience greater focus, mental clarity, and purpose in your life. It can set you on a path of true Soul fulfillment returning you to your original wholeness as your Authentic Self.

You Can Choose To Have A Healthy, Quality, Meaningful, Intimate Relationship

Whether you are single or a couple, you can choose to learn the skills to have a quality meaningful relationship. By leaning to work with your Imago and resolve your Soul Contracts, you can free yourself to move to the next level. You can learn how to embrace your shadow parts rather than keep repressing and projecting them. You can learn the skills needed to heal and fulfill your Soul Contracts which wants healing and your conscious mind which wants happiness. In as few as six sessions, you can free yourself from the confusion of repeated disappointment and heartbreak.

If you are in a relationship with a committed partner, you don’t have to leave your relationship, your partner is not the problem. You simply have to develop the skills to heal yourself (and Love willing your partner as well). You have a choice, to grow or avoid and reinforce the

wounds. So when you hit the shadow characteristics and writings on the unconscious wall, it’s a wake up call for healing. There is another saying that people don’t divorce each other, they divorce each other’s writing on their unconscious walls. (Mr “ I’m never good enough and I can’t ever please you” gets divorced to “I don’t ever feel loved and my needs don’t matter, no matter what” with a pinch of “I’m always disappointed”

If you are single you can choose to stop repeating this pattern and learn skills to up-grade yourself and attract a different quality of relationship. If you are in a committed relationship, the two of you can learn how to support and work together to learn the skills to unravel and throw out your stories and perhaps meet each other for the first time as your really are.

The chances are if you don’t heal your Imago Soul Contract, you’ll inevitably continue the same pattern and repeat the vicious cycle. I once had a couple who were married and divorced to each other five times and repeatedly separated living on opposites sides of the US and still fought each night on the phone. They had a negative bonding pattern and could not live without maintaining their toxic chaos together.

Don’t leave your relationship up to chance. Don’t assume that getting rid of your partner will get rid of the pain and frustration you have in a repeated pattern. You Soul Healing requires you to attract certain people, places and things that are custom designed for your healing. If your tired of being tired, now is the time to get the skills you can use to free yourself and move on or up-grade your present relationship.

Our Returning to Love Skill Training is a blend of the latest revolutionary conflict resolution and intimacy enrichment skills from over twenty years of relationship research. In as few as six sessions, you will discover how to have more meaningful partnership and a more satisfying passionate quality connection. Learn the skills to create joy instead of despair and have greater freedom to give and receive love.

In our program, you will discover how to create optimum healing and take your relationship to the next level.

In the Returning to Love Program, you will learn a number of skills on how to connect to each other with safety using the compassionate dialogue ( language of the heart). We specialize in teaching individuals, couples, parents and children advance communication skills that create safety and understanding of what love really means.

The ability to be present has become a lost art form and lack of compassionate connection is destroying our planet. More than ever before there is a need to return to our heart via compassionate listening skills to help us foster a strong foundation of safety security and trust and belonging.

Learn The Language of The Heart

Most of us have defaulted to managing our lives from the mental position. Our minds are great for planing and doing check books but usually create obsessive loops when it comes to relationships. We project our future disappointments base on past disappointments and not realizing it, we create the very thing we have dreaded and feared in our life ie. “feeling rejected, unimportant, unloved, not good enough etc.

In our Imago Soul Contract Training we teach you how to develop successful self aware intentional strategies to avoid repeated self-fulfilling prophesies and how to be present to process feelings and needs. You will learn how to override reactive patters of shutting down or blowing up to deal with painful situations.

The language of the Heart (addressing feelings and needs) is about leaning how to connect to your authentic self and the authentic self of the other. (Understanding how to be present and connect using Compassionate listening and responses creates a sanctuary of safety to be vulnerable and heal. Intimacy is often described as In to Me See which can only occur when there is safety and vulnerability.

Most of us would not want to have the relationship our parents had but without skills we unconsciously fall into the same limiting beliefs and emotional patterns. We default to blaming and complaining rather than listening and understanding. As your parents did, you probably made mistakes and developed self-defeating habits. Without learning how to correct our mistakes, we continue to repeat them creating more tension, discouragement and faulty habits without learning.

With out support, most tend to avoid dealing with the disappointments and upsets. We just keep going to work, dealing with kids and comfort ourselves the best we know how. What ever the medication, tunnel vision or escape, the pain and frustration keep mounting. Eventually it comes to a head.. After several failed relationships many have lost hope. They have given up and have chosen to live alone. Maybe in the past but today, it doesn’t have to be this way.

The Returning To Love Program

The Returning to Love IRT I Healing and Intimacy Training Program is a blend of the latest most powerful transformation of consciousness and language patterns to help individuals and couples, parents and children become more authentic and empathic and have more meaningful quality relationships.

All our advanced communication techniques allow you to transform conflict into understanding and collaboration. We teach you concrete conflict resolution skills that you can use right away that free you to return to your meaningful enjoyment of each other. These simple skills teach you and your partner to focus on feelings and needs rather than thoughts and judgements. You learn to be present to what’s alive in you rather than past stories and grievances. In this way, you create a space to allow for everyone’s needs to matter – creating a win-win situation.

Compassionate Listening using the Presence Process and learning the skills of Compassionate Dialoguing helps you creates a safe sanctuary. When you feel safe you can become more authentic and vulnerable to create the life sustaining intimacy you need to have a meaningful relationship.

The Returning to Love Imago Soul Contract Healing and Intimacy Training teaches you how to apply the principles and techniques of Marshall Rosenbergs Nonviolent Communication, Harville Hendrix Imago Shadow work Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy and many other state of the art proven therapies. You will learn a step by step proven method to deal with any and all relationship issues in the present and resolve issues from the past.

Our Returning to Love Program Integrates

Compassionate Dialogue with The Principles and Practices from: Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson,Ph.D Non Violent Communication Marshal Rosenberg Imago Relationship Training Harville Hendrix , Ph.D. Shadow Work and Understanding Soul Contracts “Relationship Research on Masters vs. Disasters” John Gottman,Ph.D. “Love Language” Gary Chapman “The Presence Process” Eckhart Tolle “ “Men Are From Mars and Women are From Venus” John Gray “The Amends Process” Timothy Ryan, Ph.D. And much more!

Compassionate Dialogue

In our Returning to Love Training Program, you will gain the skills you need to return to wholeness. You will learn to override your reactive behavior patterns both within yourself and with others. These tools can be used therapeutically, in conflict situations, or in everyday conversation.

Our training model was developed from the past twenty years of research on what it takes to have more satisfying, meaningful and healthy relationships. We have put together a number of successful principles and skills from leading researchers to help couples, individuals and families resolve conflict and create safety and love.

In as few as six session you will understand your problems from a completely different point of view and know what to do with conflict and misunderstanding.

Are you Hungry for Skills To Improve The Quality of Your Relationships? Join us to have the relationship of your dreams, not your nightmares.

Benefits Include:

Strengthen and Build Trust in Your Present or Future Relationships
Learn how to be Safe and Create Greater Safety in Your Relationships.
Learn How To See Your Relationships as Soul Contracts
Learn how to Avoid Defensive/Critical Communication Patterns.
Learn Effective Communication ie. Talk So Others Will Listen and Listen so Others Will Talk.
Learn Positive, Nurturing Bonding Skills to Build Greater Intimacy - Creating More Aliveness and Passion.
Understand The Real Meaning of Conflict – It's Not What You Think.
Learn Communication Skills that Overcome and/or Dissolve Conflicts
Become a More Compassionate Listener for Yourself and Others.
Learn How to Better Listen and Reduce Anger, Frustration in Difficult Moments.
Build Trust with Behavior Requests and Follow Through
Learn How To Effectively Correct and Learn From Your Mistakes
Prevent Relationship Sabotage by Understanding Each Others Love Language
Understand Confusing Behavior Patterns As A Cry for Love from Unmet Past Wounds.
Learn how to Heal Past Wounds
Increase How To Build Trust in Your Ability to Meet Your Own Needs and the Needs of Others
Learn How to See Your Relationships as a Spiritual Path For Healing and Return to Love and Your Original Wholeness.

Find The Perfect Way to Connect to Yourself and Others
Learn About:
Understanding Your Imago
Jackals vs. Giraffes
The Four Horse Men
Turtles and Lightening Bolts
Advanced Communication Skills
The Presence Process
How to Self Care
Shift Your Negative Patterns
The Soothing Process
The Three Rs of The Amends Process
Caring Behaviors
Love Language
Flooding (Tolerating Admiration)
Frustration Dialogue
Expressing Anger Safely
Rage Container
Behavior Change Request (BCR) and
BCR Reviews for Accountability
Compassionate Listening
Language of Aliveness
The 20/80 Rule
Partnership and Visioning Toward
Creating The Relationship of Your Dreams

Timothy J. Ryan Ph.D., D. Div. Is the founder, director, and lead Individual and Couples Couples Counselor at AIWP / Miracles Ministry, a 501 (c) (3) Non-denominational Religious Organization devoted to “Removing Barriers To Love” He practices as a Professional Online Faith Based Individual Couples Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Mind, Body, Spirit Healer Energy Practioner. He specializes in Removing Barriers to Love and Teaching Ef ective Communication Skills to help Individuals, Couples and Families Better give and Receive Love.

In as few as six sessions, you can learn concrete skills to resolve conflict, increase intimacy and enhance your understanding of your relationship in ways you never imagine. Dr Ryan is passionate about teaching individuals and couples Parents and Children the necessary skills to stay safe, keep their hearts open /connected and continually grow and enrich meaningful satisfying relationships.

In wrap around text (put picture of me) Timothy J. Ryan, Ph.D D.Div.

I believe that how we deal with our relationships is the number one factor contributing to our greater success, happiness and enrichment in all areas of life.

I love teaching individuals and couples concrete skills to resolve conflict right away and transform their relationships.

I believe Individuals and couples bless the world their children and their grandchildren by learning to become more
compassionate beneficial presences and lift up others by their very nature.